Where you go, I will go; where you live, I will live. Your people will be my people for your God is my God.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Two Down.

Two years ago today I married a dark skinned, brown eyed, hardworking, endearing man.  Through the cultural differences, two unique mother tongues, a time of unemployment, a slew of paperwork and travel, welcoming a darling boy into the world, and the hum of day to day life, it’s been an adventure!  I believe we have been through more together in two years than most couples pass through in 20, but maybe all married people fell the same?  After over 700 days living side-by-side, he’s proven to be all the more wonderful than what I thought.


But I’m not.  Marriage has been painful.  Not painful in the sense of “I-deserve better-than-this.”  But realizing that I *don’t* deserve this---to be loved, forgiven, and cherished.  Marriage has pulled back layers of my heart and the ugliness that is there has come to light. I’m not as wonderful as I once thought.  I will spare the details, but I have said and done and thought worse than I ever thought myself capable.   I always thought myself to be a good girl and I may have been on the outside, but marriage has brought my true heart's condition to the surface.  There is no hiding in marriage.  Imagen0513

I have good intentions.  Really I do.  I step back and think, “That’s horrid!  I’ll never do that again!” I cry over it.  I ask my God and then my beloved for forgiveness.  I truly purpose before God to change.  But what do you know?  The next day, or minute, I’m at it again!

“For the good that I wish, I do not do; but I practice the very evil that I do not wish.” {Romans 7:19}

Marriage has taught me that I need grace.  Lots and lots and lots of grace. 

Imagen0710 I remember the famous verse,

"For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God…” {Ephesians 2:8}

And I remember the story.  HIS story.  Christ’s life, death, resurrection, and His eternal plan to have an intimate relationship with me….and that my nasty heart doesn’t just keep me from having a pleasant and peaceful relationship with my husband, but, so much worse, it separates me from the God of the universe.  


“For while we were still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly.” {Romans 5:6}


Daily, marriage forces me to remember Christ’s love and my need of Him.

After two years, I’m giddy, amazed, humbled, in love, and so thankful that Rafa is the man of my life.   But even more so, I’m thankful for Christ, His patience, love, sacrifice, changing work, and wooing of me and that He uses whatever He can-even the union of two people-to remind me of Him.

Two glorious years down, the rest of a lifetime to go!

“…and He died for all, that they who live should no longer live for themselves, but for Him who died and rose again on their behalf.” {II Corinthians 5:15}


  1. I love this post! It's exactly how I felt when we hit our 4 year mark a few weeks ago. I miss you dear friend, and I'm so glad you blog! :)


  2. This is beautiful, Kat. So happy for you and proud of the woman you have become. You have no idea how much I miss you. "There's no hiding in marriage". What a scary, yet beautiful thought. What a perfect picture of Christ and his bride. We can't hide, but He loves us anyway. I love you!